Now when I think of my BFF I simply have this one friend who has stood by me for quiet a long time. We haven't seen each other since almost past three years and before that we hardly knew one another for more than a month. Well how we bacame friends is completely a different story which is irrelevant here but what I want everyone to know is what my BFF is like. He is almost a year and half younger to me and in a senese is very childish. When we talk one phone he makes funny comments and can even make me laugh in my most horrible moments. We share a very special bonding which is much more stronger than love. Through these years when we have been separated one thing has happeneed which is that we both are now connected even more than ever. He is a very special person in my life whom I remember in every happy and sad moment. Well I know what I am writting sounds very clich`e and archies greeting card type but still my dear friend I miss you always and wish that we could still be together like old times.
P.S.For those who dont understand what BFF means are hereby barred from read my blog :P .
NONSENSE
Thursday, November 5, 2009
This word has become my favourite starting today! I met a whole new lot of people today who were charminlgy different and talked completely nonsense. These people are a set of loosers calling themselves creative and making television shows like Balika Vadhu. Well thankfully I didnt meet these people in person but I had the opportunity of watching the show.
Now I am that sort of a person who is kind of up market and so I vehemently oppose the idea of family drama. My kind of television is reruns of friends and sienfield. But the point I am trying to make here is that I watched Balika Vadhu, courtesy dad (yes my dad watches it!), and I actually liked it. The completely unrealistic sets, awful make-up and bad storyline were a total flop. And the show overall was NONSENSE. But still it made some kind of sense to me. The reason being the fact that it was kind of funny. Seeing people depict emotions has always amused me. These daily soaps actually have every emotion like love, sorrow, anger, venegeance in every episode. Its actually comical to see every emotion one after the other. And so where everything sensible is plane boring nonsense like this steal the show.
Anyway this is the reason for me liking the word nonsense because sometimes its only nonsense which makes sense, an example would be me writting this blog.
Now I am that sort of a person who is kind of up market and so I vehemently oppose the idea of family drama. My kind of television is reruns of friends and sienfield. But the point I am trying to make here is that I watched Balika Vadhu, courtesy dad (yes my dad watches it!), and I actually liked it. The completely unrealistic sets, awful make-up and bad storyline were a total flop. And the show overall was NONSENSE. But still it made some kind of sense to me. The reason being the fact that it was kind of funny. Seeing people depict emotions has always amused me. These daily soaps actually have every emotion like love, sorrow, anger, venegeance in every episode. Its actually comical to see every emotion one after the other. And so where everything sensible is plane boring nonsense like this steal the show.
Anyway this is the reason for me liking the word nonsense because sometimes its only nonsense which makes sense, an example would be me writting this blog.
Technical Error #111#
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The tittle of this blog seems to be pretty awful. Especially for people like me who suffer from bad internet connection syndrome :P. It has indeed become a disease,atleast for me. These days I even dream in my sleep about a redirecting page. So I need a 3G ASAP.
Anyway coming back to the point I have been wondering since a past few days about how to find a good boyfriend. It was one of my new year resolutions to find myself a nice, handsome and classy boyfriend. That obviously have'nt happend yet. And its november now so I have approx only around 2 months at the most. The year though has been quiet interesting in terms of the no. of guys I have dated. All of them didnt match in most of my criterias which has obviously resulted in my continuing single status. Which reminds me of the trailors for a movie apparently called Radio but all they talk about is Facebook :P. Anyway moving ahead I think things will work out soon for me hopefully *fingers crossed*. On a different note I watched a new ad on TV by airtel for some 1paisa/per second scheme. SRK was completely wasted in the ad. It didnt even make any sense. Its hightime that I should start making those ads for I guess I can do it better........is any ad agency listening or rather reading. Ahh I again diverted from the point but I guess thats because I am sleepy. So I gotta sleep now and analyse my non existing love life tommorrow *YAWN*.
Anyway coming back to the point I have been wondering since a past few days about how to find a good boyfriend. It was one of my new year resolutions to find myself a nice, handsome and classy boyfriend. That obviously have'nt happend yet. And its november now so I have approx only around 2 months at the most. The year though has been quiet interesting in terms of the no. of guys I have dated. All of them didnt match in most of my criterias which has obviously resulted in my continuing single status. Which reminds me of the trailors for a movie apparently called Radio but all they talk about is Facebook :P. Anyway moving ahead I think things will work out soon for me hopefully *fingers crossed*. On a different note I watched a new ad on TV by airtel for some 1paisa/per second scheme. SRK was completely wasted in the ad. It didnt even make any sense. Its hightime that I should start making those ads for I guess I can do it better........is any ad agency listening or rather reading. Ahh I again diverted from the point but I guess thats because I am sleepy. So I gotta sleep now and analyse my non existing love life tommorrow *YAWN*.
The Big Bang Theory
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Okay so whats happening in life??? Well life pretty much sucks right now....reason being flu. Ohh wait its not your ordinary desi flu but is a new imported version called swine flu. Now you must be wondering why I am writting about swine flu. Well there are reasons for it however none of them is social service :P. Actually I have noticed some strange behaviour by people around me. These are normal "mango ppl" who travel with me or live near me or are my friends.
Since the last two days these people have become suspicious of everyone around them who is sneezing or even gives a minor cough for conversational purposes. People are actually treating them like, they are some kind of terrorists or something who is out there to kill you. The worst affected by this kind of attitude of people are the very poor people who generally beg on trains or sell stuff. I actually heard a woman in my first class compartment to tell a little boy selling clips that to go n sell his things on the second class compartment because she was explaining others how these slum people are carrying the H1N1 virus.
I mean that ok its a scary situation out there but isnt this behaviour ridiculous. Treating the poorer people like they are our enemies is really very bad. We must not forget that how many ever economic diffrences we create but still all of us are humans and definitely the swine flu agrees with me because it can hit anyone.
So now you may be wondering why this post is called the big bang theory...its simply because I was always lousy at physics and never understood this theory...the same way as I dont understand why we "the mango ppl" react so violently to things which we have no clue about and form conclusions without any knowledge.
P.S. This post is dedicated to my mother who has become so paranoid of swine flu that she has asked me n my sister to not shake hands with people :P.
Since the last two days these people have become suspicious of everyone around them who is sneezing or even gives a minor cough for conversational purposes. People are actually treating them like, they are some kind of terrorists or something who is out there to kill you. The worst affected by this kind of attitude of people are the very poor people who generally beg on trains or sell stuff. I actually heard a woman in my first class compartment to tell a little boy selling clips that to go n sell his things on the second class compartment because she was explaining others how these slum people are carrying the H1N1 virus.
I mean that ok its a scary situation out there but isnt this behaviour ridiculous. Treating the poorer people like they are our enemies is really very bad. We must not forget that how many ever economic diffrences we create but still all of us are humans and definitely the swine flu agrees with me because it can hit anyone.
So now you may be wondering why this post is called the big bang theory...its simply because I was always lousy at physics and never understood this theory...the same way as I dont understand why we "the mango ppl" react so violently to things which we have no clue about and form conclusions without any knowledge.
P.S. This post is dedicated to my mother who has become so paranoid of swine flu that she has asked me n my sister to not shake hands with people :P.
Nightmare
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Huh!! what a horrible day.... I just wish today just vanishes from my life... haven't had a day this bad since a long time. to begin with I woke up late(bloody alarm) and had to rush to make in time for college. And there for the first time in my life I got SUSPENDED. Yes thats true :( however I am not alone, my whole class of SYBMM is with me. But it hardly makes a difference.
Well the next thing to me was a bloody thievery. I went to the oh-so-posh oxford book store and left my purse at the security counter and in bloody 20 mins my wallet was missing...later to be found empty in my friend's bag who definitely didnt steal the money. And now the biggest part I bloody lost 6 grands..yes i was fool enough to carry such kind of money...though I had reasons. I will never forgive the person who did this to me....to my much awaited shopping trip and to the pretty dress I saw at AND. "You who stole my money Will Rot In The Deepest Pits Of Hell".
So now you see how nightmarish a day can be.... By the end of the day I was wondering whether my train to home might have an accident...looking at the way the day was leading....but anyways thankfully that didnt happen....GOD PLZ SAVE ME FROM MY FATE!!!!!
Well the next thing to me was a bloody thievery. I went to the oh-so-posh oxford book store and left my purse at the security counter and in bloody 20 mins my wallet was missing...later to be found empty in my friend's bag who definitely didnt steal the money. And now the biggest part I bloody lost 6 grands..yes i was fool enough to carry such kind of money...though I had reasons. I will never forgive the person who did this to me....to my much awaited shopping trip and to the pretty dress I saw at AND. "You who stole my money Will Rot In The Deepest Pits Of Hell".
So now you see how nightmarish a day can be.... By the end of the day I was wondering whether my train to home might have an accident...looking at the way the day was leading....but anyways thankfully that didnt happen....GOD PLZ SAVE ME FROM MY FATE!!!!!
Scraps Of Sky
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
When you die young there is grief but what when u live for too long. This is what was on Nainee’s mind on the train ride back home. Thinking about her past Nainee thought of what she has achieved in living for 45 years. Her life was just like the tap water flowing in front of her. No ups no down just a plain steady flow of events. For she had no friends or foes but just acquaintances. In the minds of the people around her she was an extraordinary woman. No marriage, no children, successful in her own small way and definitely independent. Yes that was the word which Rajeev had used 25 years before. He told her that in a relationship he needed a woman who was independent. Back in those days Nainee was a college student. Even in those spring days of her life she was alone. And that is what attracted him to Rajeev, a man whom his own family had disowned for reasons unknown to Nainee. They found solace in each others company. However things changed soon enough and the day of separation came, in the form of Rajeev going abroad. The night Nainee heard the news she told Rajeev that she wanted to come with him. And he told her that he needed a more independent woman in life. And that was it there was no more discussion. A month later Rajeev went away and Nainee was all left to herself.
Nainee travelled back to her present by a sudden ringing of the door bell. She was startled to hear the bell ring at this time in night. Though it was only 7:30 p.m. but for her it was too late for anybody to knock on her door. Like the way her parents said when she decided to marry at the age of 30. The bell rang again, this time twice. Expectantly Nainee went for the door. “Who’s there??”She asked in a shaky voice. A male voice answered “courier madam”. Courier, for her and that too in the evening, suspicious. But reluctantly she opened the door; curiosity as they say takes the good of man. However it was a courier only but not just another credit card statement. It was a letter addressed to Miss Nainee Rajesh Mahto. Generally no one used her middle name to write to her. Taking the letter from the delivery boy she closed the door immediately. Holding the letter in her hand she could feel a similarity, knowingness, a feeling of old warmth. Nainee didn’t dare to open such a letter which rushed in so many emotions. However a lot of self debate and a few smokes later she finally dares to open the letter.
It’s the same familiar handwriting, the slants and curves in proper order. It was definitely a letter from Rajeev but how is it possible. A year back she heard the news that Rajeev died in a car crash in L.A. But there was too much of Rajeev’s self in the hand writing. For reasons even unknown to herself, she didn’t dare to read the address of the addressee. Apprehension has indeed become a trait of her character. So gathering all her courage Nainee sat down to read the letter……
So all that she ever thought of about her life has been a myth. Nainee was too engrossed in her own unknown preoccupations that she never dared to see others view of life. For all the questions that she ever wanted to ask were answered. And some answers which she never had the courage to listen to. The letter changed her life. It was turned upside down. For a woman like her who lived in a closed four sided wall everything was shattered.
The letter indeed was from Rajeev, the only person she ever loved in her life. But always she wondered what went wrong for them. In the beginning she thought that she was maybe inappropriate or too dependent (young) for Rajeev. However as the days passed by she thought of Rajeev as a bad guy who was just playful with her. All the talk of independent woman was just rubbish. And Nainee was at peace, like any other human being, to blame someone else for her unhappiness. But today the truth was in front of her, but she was in a dilemma whether to believe it or not. All those years back on a wintery night Rajeev had told her the reason of why he was disowned by his parents. He like many other men made the mistake of his life and was branded by a disease which took away his family from him. It was Nainee only who had panicked after listening to this ultimate truth and freaked out. Eventually with time she did understand and became positive about it, but that was too late. Rajeev was morally shaken and he made the decision to move forward with some other independent and mature woman.
Reading this written in Rajeev’s own handwriting Nainee thought of the countless nights she spent cursing Rajeev for what he did to her without ever trying to peep in the past of what she herself did to him. It was then that it dawned onto her that whatever her life was today it was just because of her own fear to accept the truth. Life was always a blame game for her. Maybe she was too scared to take the blame on herself. But one doubt was still there in heart. Maybe her last way of holding onto her belief of others making her suffer, was that how come Rajeev’s letter reached her after a year of his death? The date on the letter was of a year back only. Had Rajeev known then that he was going to die soon or was it just co incidental? Why did it take a year to reach a courier to her? Perhaps postal delay that was the first blaming thought that came to her mind. But all the mystery dawned to her when she finally saw the address of the sender. Never did she and maybe even you would believe what was written. Those three words changed everything and made her believe that in the end there is no one to blame for on the Day of Judgment you are alone:
Rajeev Sinha
Heaven
The Rear End
Monday, June 29, 2009
Dont worry...be happy!!!! this was written on the back of the truck behind which i was stuck for some good 20 mins in the morning. Obviously it resulted in me being late to college....but thats hardly a point. The point is why do people write these messages behind their truck?!?!
As a result of my brilliant brains....:D....I came out with the theory that these messages are basically kind off horoscopes. Okk when you are done laughing, think aboout this..... these messages sometimes tell us stuff which are more true than horoscopes. And even if you dont believe this, I actually had a good day 'coz I didnt worry.
So in a way this is like fortune telling only according to me. And so the next time you are stuck behind a truck on s.v. road think of what its written behind it as your horoscope for the day.... taa :)
As a result of my brilliant brains....:D....I came out with the theory that these messages are basically kind off horoscopes. Okk when you are done laughing, think aboout this..... these messages sometimes tell us stuff which are more true than horoscopes. And even if you dont believe this, I actually had a good day 'coz I didnt worry.
So in a way this is like fortune telling only according to me. And so the next time you are stuck behind a truck on s.v. road think of what its written behind it as your horoscope for the day.... taa :)
Love, Life And Things In Between
Saturday, June 27, 2009
So this is my second post for the day...hah!! cant believe I am finally blogging regularly :) I dedicate this post to the times I have spent on trying to find love and giving essential "long term relationship" tips... :P. For a person who has never been in love its really a big thing. Or wait I have been in love. Everytime I see a potential boyfriend material I start fantasizing being in love with him. I carry out imaginary conversation and go on dream dates. This thing exists for a month or two and gives me emotional satisfaction.
And then one fine morning...bang....I no longer feel anything for him. If by any chances the guy has fallen for me, I start doing everything in my power to push him away. These include not replying to messages, not taking calls, insulting them, etc. I dont know what happens to me. I feel ovewhelmed by the emotions I contain in my heart. Mind you I dont do this intentionally but I cant retain love. Simple. Or wait maybe its not so simple. I have two theories for this behaviour one it happens coz my habbit of fantasizing too much and two I am afraid to open myself completely to a stranger.
So all in all as a result of my erratic mind and heart I have never been in love or that is what I hope coz what happened very recently is I met with a person who is exactly the same as me. Just that he did with me what i do with others. So I am still thinking that if I have been ditched.. :P. But still this hasn'tchanged me a bit.... hope I will recover soon!!!!!
And then one fine morning...bang....I no longer feel anything for him. If by any chances the guy has fallen for me, I start doing everything in my power to push him away. These include not replying to messages, not taking calls, insulting them, etc. I dont know what happens to me. I feel ovewhelmed by the emotions I contain in my heart. Mind you I dont do this intentionally but I cant retain love. Simple. Or wait maybe its not so simple. I have two theories for this behaviour one it happens coz my habbit of fantasizing too much and two I am afraid to open myself completely to a stranger.
So all in all as a result of my erratic mind and heart I have never been in love or that is what I hope coz what happened very recently is I met with a person who is exactly the same as me. Just that he did with me what i do with others. So I am still thinking that if I have been ditched.. :P. But still this hasn'tchanged me a bit.... hope I will recover soon!!!!!
Not Understanding Cinema
So I had an understanding cinema lecture today in college. Every saturday I have...uff!!! Now I can give you a long list of better things to do on a chilled out sat afternoon but I was stuck with a silent movie which released in 1924...wtf!! my parents were also not born then...I guess whether their parents were :P. Most of the time during the movie I felt my eyelids drooping...but I still didnt give up. But when we started discussing the film it was like suddenly I regained a lot of consciousness...well the credit can be given to a nice hot coffee as well...but I found it really interesting to know how people in the early 20th century thought.
Our prof. is doing Eisenstein now and he thinks that he is one of the greatest film makers. However I disagree. I cant tell this in class coz I fear being thrown out or worst being declared insane. In my opinion cinema is for social upliftment as well as entertainment. I find it a waste of resources to make a film on something which happened almost a century ago and causes no upliftment. It just shows brutality and abuse of proliterate by the lords. In all historical movies are boring and of no use. In order to make people know about what atrocities happened in the past, you always have history books for the purpose.
For the time being cheers.....coz we dont watch a movie for story but to understand how its editing is done n how its shot. So I shouldnt actually be nagging about story n values of cinema.
Oh btw I am going to watch newyork tommorrow which I guess will be entertaining...huh!! I love Bollywood.
Our prof. is doing Eisenstein now and he thinks that he is one of the greatest film makers. However I disagree. I cant tell this in class coz I fear being thrown out or worst being declared insane. In my opinion cinema is for social upliftment as well as entertainment. I find it a waste of resources to make a film on something which happened almost a century ago and causes no upliftment. It just shows brutality and abuse of proliterate by the lords. In all historical movies are boring and of no use. In order to make people know about what atrocities happened in the past, you always have history books for the purpose.
For the time being cheers.....coz we dont watch a movie for story but to understand how its editing is done n how its shot. So I shouldnt actually be nagging about story n values of cinema.
Oh btw I am going to watch newyork tommorrow which I guess will be entertaining...huh!! I love Bollywood.
P.S. I hate you
Well now I dont know why I am writting this post but I seem to be hating every person in my life...all AT ONCE. After reading this you might think I have completely lost my brains but let me assure you that I never had one :P. Now coming back to hatred I have realized that all the people who surround me have suddenly stopped taking notice of me. Beginning from my "friends" to the "watchman" of my building. No seems to be aware that I am present in their co.
And I hate them for this.... Seriously guys wats wrong?? I dont think I have become invisible..not with the kind of BUTT size I have...then why have you guys stopped noticing me??
And I hate them for this.... Seriously guys wats wrong?? I dont think I have become invisible..not with the kind of BUTT size I have...then why have you guys stopped noticing me??
I See You
In the night when the moon shines
and the river gushes like flowing wine
I see you in drops of dew
which makes the grass as good as new.
When the sun is hidden behind
a ray of light shines bright
I see you in that pale light
for you are the hope which makes the day light.
Now is the time for the herd to come home
the light is fading away
I see you in the shadows of dusk
leaving me with the hope of seeing you in dark.
and the river gushes like flowing wine
I see you in drops of dew
which makes the grass as good as new.
When the sun is hidden behind
a ray of light shines bright
I see you in that pale light
for you are the hope which makes the day light.
Now is the time for the herd to come home
the light is fading away
I see you in the shadows of dusk
leaving me with the hope of seeing you in dark.
Hypocrisy....
Friday, June 26, 2009
Well to begin with I am not a very philosophical person..but 2day i am just writting sumthing which i experienced. A few hrs back I was chatting with this random guy on gtalk(yes i do use gtalk....however uncool it may sound... :P) and suddenly he asked me about the word hyprocrisy.
Well to begin with I told him it means having double standrds but he was insisting on an example. I was so pissed off.....ppl think i am giving english lessons or wat....but still i gave him an example which was kind off real. Well it was about myself only.
As a person i see myself to be very moral and just. But I obviously am not because I myself is a hypocrite in some form or other. I think its bad for ppl to do bitching but everyday I happily engage in that activity myself. I think its ok to make fun of the way others are dressed but if sumone does that to me i get furious. I dont like to feel left out from a group but I do leave out ppl just because I dont think they suit my definition of "coolness."
So here u see I am a hypocrite. But I cant help it. I just dont know how to stop myself from being myself. And so I lay helpless with my sense of righteousness and guilt. I wish for others to give me things I can never give them....sigh...wish I could explain the meaning of hypocrisy to myself first!!!
Well to begin with I told him it means having double standrds but he was insisting on an example. I was so pissed off.....ppl think i am giving english lessons or wat....but still i gave him an example which was kind off real. Well it was about myself only.
As a person i see myself to be very moral and just. But I obviously am not because I myself is a hypocrite in some form or other. I think its bad for ppl to do bitching but everyday I happily engage in that activity myself. I think its ok to make fun of the way others are dressed but if sumone does that to me i get furious. I dont like to feel left out from a group but I do leave out ppl just because I dont think they suit my definition of "coolness."
So here u see I am a hypocrite. But I cant help it. I just dont know how to stop myself from being myself. And so I lay helpless with my sense of righteousness and guilt. I wish for others to give me things I can never give them....sigh...wish I could explain the meaning of hypocrisy to myself first!!!
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